On Thinking About Registering for One of the Remaining Baha’i Regional Conferences: OK, fine, I’ll go

I didn’t go to the 1992 World Congress. Could have. Didn’t.

For Baha’is in the U.S., the regional conferences called for by the Universal House of Justice are over. I went to one. Glad I did.

But there are still conferences to go elsewhere in the world, and some people are still deciding whether to go. Like this soul on SoulTalk. -gw

The following words floated in my head:

‘….pivotal point in my life…’  ‘…. feeling is one of renewed committment and assurance.’

It got me pondering. Was I seeking an assurance, some sort of validation that said don’t worry Sara you don’t have to go despite the fact you are urged to go? Did I want my friend to stop digging his heels in and just say – hey that’s cool, I totally agree with you, I’m only going cos my mum is making me go? Was I somehow jealous of his excitement for it? Was I hacked off because I just didn’t want to admit to myself that I might just want to go, but I wanted to be different, and to be different was not to go? Why was I really not going? Was my ego doing the talking? Was my prejudice of past experiences dictating a decision I was directly being urged to take? But the question still remained, what was the point of going (other than because I was being urged to go in the letter).

After a long winded discussion, my friends left, and I reconnected to the virtual world. I went to my email inbox and started to read the feedback from recently held conferences. I re-read the letter. I pondered over the purpose of it. I asked myself was this the right region for me to attend? Should I attend a different one – as I dont intend to be in the UK over the next year? How do I find out more about the London conference? What is the programme? Is knowing the programme really all that important? If so – why? No really – why is it so important for me to know what is going on before committing to going? Why is a simple request urging for my attendance not a good enough reason for me to attend? Questions buzzed through my head. When I get tangled with questions, I find myself looking at the two possible outcomes – do – i.e. attend and have your questions answered, or dont i.e. don’t attend and be left wondering. Ok fine, I’ll register – but if I’ve broken a bone during the ski trip I’m not going! And THAT is my final decision on the matter, ok?

http://soultalk.ning.com/profiles/blogs/opposition-for-opposition-sake